It's a very damp, cold Sunday. My calf muscle tear is healing nicely, because I have stopped running for a while, but I now have an excrutiatingly sore left knee, and, based upon my self-diagnosis, I believe it's so-called Runner's Knee. I cannot walk down stairs without a great deal of pain and discomfort. Not too sure what to do about it, but will probably make an appointment with my sports doctor so he can examine it. It's all a little too much at the moment, because I have the Churerlauf in two weeks' time (this is just a short, 4,9-km race through the Altstadt (old town) of Chur), and have decided to do the Half Marathon Plus (i.e. 25 km) in Liechtenstein on 14th June. In other words, all this nonsense has to clear up post haste, so I can get down to some serious training again.There is a little too much going on in my life at the moment, and I feel somewhat overwhelmed. When I run, it helps me cope with all this pressure, but when I am incapacitated, I feel submerged in a sea of stress and confusion. Putting it metaphorically, the motorways of my life are congested right now, and I need to find an off-ramp, so I can escape to the peace and tranquility of a quiet country road.
In between bodies and other matters, this weekend, I have taken to tidying and re-organising my library in my study at home in Chur. It's a daunting task, but I am almost complete now. I am sure, I have more books than a small regional library. Being somewhat chaotic of mind, I tend to let my study (which represents me, my kingdom and my being) manifest the way I am. It's always spotlessly clean, but chaotic in organisation (or disorganisation) - try to find a Latin dictionary here, and you will have to look, more than likely, in the books on meteorology or esoterics. Anyway, I set about trying to bring some order into my chaos, and now feel satisfied, that if I want my Latin dictionary, it's amongst the books on physiology - simple!!!!!
I then sat on the couch here, drinking a fine South African red, looking around at my books, and decided to jot down, that which represents my life in my books. The list is somewhat considerable, but I shall publicise it here in categories, with no level of priority:
marathon/ultramarathon-running; fitness; meteorology; vulcanology; deserts; earthquakes; other earth sciences; medicine, anatomy, and physiology; Africa/South Africa - history, politics, geography; travel; running and ultrarunning; bodybuilding; nutrition and metabolism; La Légion Étrangère (the French Foreign Legion); Naziism and the Occult; the former South African Defence Force (SADF) and its operations; Charles Schultz's Charlie Brown and Peanuts; the English language, grammar and literature (in particular: D.H. Lawrence, William Shakespeare, J.R.R. Tolkien, Joseph Conrad, etc.); languages: German, French, Italian and Arabic; esoterics (this covers a multitude of topics, some of which are best left unmentioned because they are rather controversial in nature); Scotland (home of my ancestors); the cartoons of Giles; anything to do with Monty Python/John Cleese; Spike Milligan and the Goon Show; Switzerland and Liechtenstein; psychology (especially physiological psychology); the United States Marine Corps; philosophy; horror movies; the psychology of war; viniculture. Whew, quite a list, but that's me. I also enjoy reading novels, particular those of Robin Cook, John Grishman, Dean Koontz, Tom Sharp, Roald Dahl and Dan Brown.
I joined the Rosicrucian movement in the UK a few years ago, but found, that it was incredibly expensive, and questioned, whether or not the organisation was more interested in making money, than expounding its philosophies (which I do find terribly interesting); I also, in a fervour of philosophy and searching for the meaning of life, joined the Order of the Jarls of Baelder, but this, too, came to nothing, as I am too far away from the headquarters in the UK.
Whilst in my enthusiasm for organising my study, I also categorised my magazines, all of which I receive, as subscriptions, by mail. Here again, whew, what a list - however, I have decided to rationalise, and not renew several of the annual subscriptions, not because I don't like them, but rather due to the fact, that I don't have the time to read them all; the ones I am keeping include UltraRunner, UK Runner's World, Country Life (South Africa), Képi Blanc (French Foreign Legion magazine, in French), GO (South Africa), Travel Africa.
Looking at the above, I see an incredible sense of categorisation in it all. My life is anything but that - it's the epitome of chaos. I am not an organised, disciplined person, but I do make, on frequent occasions, an effort to become organised - it lasts a while, but then the chaos sets in again. I must say, I like the chaotic side to my life, and am not averse to it at all. I just find, that it places me in conflict with so many others, and this is a cause for concern.
And, outside, the rain is coming down in torrents. What is all this, then, that is going on in my life? Well, there's the business itself (a major source of stress); the renovations in our other house in Carona; the renovations in Kurt's late parents' apartment above us here in Chur; the forthcoming renovations in our apartment when we integrate the apartment next to ours into one large dwelling; our staffing concerns in the business; relationships in general; the injuries I seem to have on a constant basis; not having nearly enough time in life to do the things I want to do; a never-ending HATE of taxes and the tax department; ageing (I accept my age, but fight against it nonetheless); fear of dying (I may be an undertaker, but death is something that comes ever nearer, and I have no time for it within the next 279 years); concern about my family in South Africa; finances (I guess, a universal worry); why summer in Switzerland is so short. Believe it, or not, these are the things which can keep me awake for hours at night (and do) - I am a born worrier. I'm 51 going on 97, and will worry, 'til the day I die, which, given the above, may only be in the year 2287.
Well, it's time to stop. That book, which so many people have suggested/implored/threatened that I write? - believe me, it will come, one day. Not only, do I need the money, but it's one of the things, I think about consistently.
1 comment:
Hey Craig, sounds like you've got a lot going on at the moment. May I suggest you write down all of the things you've got going on and prioritise everything - maybe you have done already? Suffice to say, you should speak to a Life Coach it seems, they'll sort you out quick smart - my girlfriend is one.
I say, keep it simple, sounds like you are trying to do too much and you're worrying so much about the stress of it all that it's taking away the enjoyment. Make a list, cut down on the number of things you do, and enjoy life. Failing that, come out to Sydney for a few weeks, and we'll chill you out down under! Watch the training as well... remember we want you in good shape with a bottle of Verve at the finish line! Also, remember what's important. The more I train, the more I realise that races dont hold much relevance at all. They're just a motivator and a goal to reach towards, but they're not the final goal. Do a great time is good, but how important will that be in Stage 4 of the MDS - you learn more from the training you do.
I played rugby for years, and my coach told me this - in a game of rugby you only put into practice everything you learnt in training. In a game you learn nothing, only what you failed to do in training. This is so true, so maybe look to adopt this attitude. I'm not saying don't do races, but you probably get my drift! Focus on the training, and be selectful about the events you do. I'm down to do a half marathon in July - but now I question what relevance that holds for me? It will only be worthwhile if I do a 20 miler the day before to see how I cope. Or, really I should switch to the full marathon and just use it as a training run to get the miles in.
Remeber your final goal, the MDS. Doing a half marathon is great, but only as part of training. So keep it real my good friend!
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